this week has been really busy for me .piano exam coming up next. then school exam .then band competition .then next up 'O'level .haiz life is really filled with many challenges.maths is really a headache ,but i believe that if i work hard every single thing will turn out fine .been sacrificing almost everything i have .but dreams and goals are hard to be fulfilled isn't it? really hope that when i turn back in my life i will find it worth living for.there will be countless people i want to thank .

a few days ago was told that ganny have another tummor in her other kidney .i really hope that she will turn out fine ...she just removed her other kidney a few months ago and a huge tummor in her lungs .her strength to live on really amazed me .if it was me a would have killed myself.the suffering would be just to much to bear . she will have to go for dalaysis once if things get worsen.but she is so optimistic that i dont know how to comfort her .instead she comforted me with her big love .i am learning how to be as strong as her .a real fighter.......and those who read this blog PLEASE PRAY FOR HER .I REALLY HOPE SHE WILL BE FINE .TAKE IT AS A FAVOUR FROM ME........

oh ya sry for those who tagged me and i did not reply cos something is wrong with my stupid computer.it is driving me nuts.

life has been rather fine after that incident I realised who are my real friends and who are not .this are the obstacles that really make them a true friend ,when no one is on your side .they are the ones that will stand up for you .recently the band has been busy trying to help the sec 1s get over the hurdle of a recuit .i sincerly hope that as they improve their attiude will improve too .my own dear sec 1 junniors .PLEASE DO NOT BE LAZY .THE BAND IS IMPROVING SO MUCH FASTER THAN YOU GUYS .SO BUCK UP!

i cried today........again

today i cried ..........in class again ..........the stupid water that dropped out from my eyes.i could not control it today .the pain was so intense today. i could not keep up with the brave front ,the always smiling fake face though it is bleeding inside.i really don't understand !are they happy to see me sad,cry .sometimes i really want them to stop .can't we be friends or even strangers?why must you make someone sad just for the likes of you...........is it that hard to see me happy ? will u lose a leg or a hand ?or maybe your life?
i really really hate this class so much that i cannot imagine..
those who comforted me today ,thanks for standing by my side
To elisa ,your are really my truest friend !love ya !

it hurts so much more...............

maybe this is the darkest time of my life .i dun noe why does it hurt so much when i am called 'fat'fat' .to be laughed at ...it really feels so painful everytime i am called at. the sharp pain that is felt through your heart .the pain that pierces something in me maybe it is my heart or maybe it is the soul. when tears well up my eyes the feeling of forcing yourself not to let the tears fall. to put a brave front just in front of the so-called friends ....... the suffering that is felt is much more than anyone can imagine .worse than in hell . felt every single day .every single time.it hurts it really does.........maybe i am use to it the pain .but it still hurts ...maybe the older you are the more pain is felt as you understand more..it hurts so much that i don't even want to go to school now although it use to be my favorite thing in the past.....who will stay your friends for long? so little that you can count it with your fingers only the true friends stay.............
is fat a sin? is it a crime ?is it so bad so wrong that that much suffering must be felt?to others it may be fun and excitment but have they thought what is it like to be the victim.............

my life sucks !!!

school has opened for a week now ....my life still as boring as usual .but now it got even more boring .decided to study very very hard .as usual i still hate my this year classmates ,3e3 ...decided that no matter whati must get to the top ,prove my worth in no matter music or studies .i realised i don't need friends in my class ,no need to be too sociable .still love 2e4 .i have decided to put my time and effort on the things that really matter ..studies ,band and real friends,do my best in them .the rest just ignore .maybe they will stop .........................
my life sucks ....

sick like shit

came home from band camp a few days ago ............shit la! i suck can! have been having freaking fever for a stupid week.sian feel like handicap can! my neck and shoulder pain like siao can !when to see the doctor for two times .now maybe have to go for blood test cos they suspect it is dengue .sian!cannot eat much so to look at the bright sight hope to lose weight !
*special thanks to all those that took care for me !sorry people no space to put all the names .the camp was ok but the not as fun as the past ones .this year recruits really need to learn how the respect mr how and there seniors .......if not the band will collapse .i really hope they learn the ropes fast cos i cannot take it !