i cried today........again

today i cried ..........in class again ..........the stupid water that dropped out from my eyes.i could not control it today .the pain was so intense today. i could not keep up with the brave front ,the always smiling fake face though it is bleeding inside.i really don't understand !are they happy to see me sad,cry .sometimes i really want them to stop .can't we be friends or even strangers?why must you make someone sad just for the likes of you...........is it that hard to see me happy ? will u lose a leg or a hand ?or maybe your life?
i really really hate this class so much that i cannot imagine..
those who comforted me today ,thanks for standing by my side
To elisa ,your are really my truest friend !love ya !

it hurts so much more...............

maybe this is the darkest time of my life .i dun noe why does it hurt so much when i am called 'fat'fat' .to be laughed at ...it really feels so painful everytime i am called at. the sharp pain that is felt through your heart .the pain that pierces something in me maybe it is my heart or maybe it is the soul. when tears well up my eyes the feeling of forcing yourself not to let the tears fall. to put a brave front just in front of the so-called friends ....... the suffering that is felt is much more than anyone can imagine .worse than in hell . felt every single day .every single time.it hurts it really does.........maybe i am use to it the pain .but it still hurts ...maybe the older you are the more pain is felt as you understand more..it hurts so much that i don't even want to go to school now although it use to be my favorite thing in the past.....who will stay your friends for long? so little that you can count it with your fingers only the true friends stay.............
is fat a sin? is it a crime ?is it so bad so wrong that that much suffering must be felt?to others it may be fun and excitment but have they thought what is it like to be the victim.............

my life sucks !!!

school has opened for a week now ....my life still as boring as usual .but now it got even more boring .decided to study very very hard .as usual i still hate my this year classmates ,3e3 ...decided that no matter whati must get to the top ,prove my worth in no matter music or studies .i realised i don't need friends in my class ,no need to be too sociable .still love 2e4 .i have decided to put my time and effort on the things that really matter ..studies ,band and real friends,do my best in them .the rest just ignore .maybe they will stop .........................
my life sucks ....